• Self-condemnation, shame, remorse, regret, contrition maybe innocence.
Torn between the obligation to my work and the obligation to my grandma. Conflict without borders. See it takes two different mind sets to do one or the other, they can't coexist. It's one or the other - What would you do? Since most of my work is about what happens in life I have taken my emotions and transformed them in to this painting. No textures, no polished finishes, just paint and canvas. It only needs one explanation, the decision to use a male model - In all thats happening I have noticed that I am the only female (functioning female) that is left in the immediate family, that is when I decided to morph in to a man.
So far this painting has no name.
For weeks I have been taking care of my grandmother, it has taken all of my time, I don't regret it but I miss painting something awful. It is going to be long road with taking care of her, her body is healthy, it's her mind that has gone to the funny farm. I want to paint and my head is filled with ideas. Bear with me, I will be back.
I believe in the Magic of Creation... this is my world, where ideas are born and their journeys tell the final story. The good, the bad, the happy and sad, just plain old crazy.